Being Scared & Nervous

Tearing your hair out??

I have a lot of exams and stuff coming up and I’ve been feeling nervous. Really nervous. It isn’t always rational, and it isn’t always specific, but I’m nervous. I have some quick tips I’d like to share with you guys about dealing with being anxious. Some of them are a bit silly but they work for me!

1. Being nervous is okay. It’s normal. In fact, it would probably be strange if you weren’t worried. Don’t get worried about the fact that you’re worried. I know I never believe this when I’m told it, but nerves can help you perform better.

2. Just get through the day – talk to your friends, watch TV, go to school. Doing normal things always always, always helps, even if you feel like lying in bed and doing nothing at all.

3. Find someone else to be for half an hour, or an hour, or a day, or however long the thing you’re anxious about is. Choose anyone: it can be a brave book character, a feisty character from your favourite movie, or even someone in real life that you look up to. Find someone who would be confident in this position, and become them. You don’t have to talk in a different accent or anything (you can if you want) but it works if you just think about it. And remember that you don’t have to tell anybody about it. There’s no space for embarrassment.

4. If you’re having problems getting to sleep, then don’t look at any screens for an hour and half before going to bed. Doing exercise during the day also helps. You might also want to consider getting some relaxing music or ‘meditation’ tapes to help you get to sleep – I used to use them because I had big problems getting to sleep.

5. Share it. I know it sounds stupid, but a worry shared is a worry halved. It actually works. If you don’t want to talk, then write it down in a diary.

Do you have any tips, tricks or experiences to share about being nervous? I’d love to hear them!

Apple xx

See the World Through New Eyes

“They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, but the eyes

aren’t alone.”

We often sometimes don’t take a proper look at what’s around us, instead rushing off to a meeting or class, or preoccupied in our thoughts. The following piece of writing is about seeing the world through new eyes.

The boy sits on the wall, his feet kicking listlessly at the bricks, his fingers just a centimetre away from the girl’s hand. He is very much aware of this. The girl reaches out a hand to the tree to steady herself whilst she stands up.

“Look,” she says to the boy, pointing at the blackbird with her one free hand, “do you see the blackbird?”

The boy squints up at her, even though he’s taller, and replies, “What about it?”

“I said ‘look at it’. I’m not sure if you’re looking at me, but you’re definitely not looking at the blackbird because it’s behind you.”

With a sigh, the boy hoists himself up and twists round to get a look at the blackbird. “It’s just a blackbird,” he says, puzzled.

“Yes,” the girl tells him, “it’s a blackbird. Congratulations on your genius knowledge.”

“But – what’s so special about it?”

The girl looks at him critically. “See at its flashing wings, its curved head, its midnight black eyes. Are those not special enough for you?”

The boy falls silent for a moment, then says “I can’t really see what you mean. It’s almost the same as any other blackbird.

“Look at it as if it’s the first and last time you will see a blackbird,” the girl instructs, taking the boy by the shoulder, “look at how different it is from us, how alien and beautiful and strange it is.”

The boy nods, frowns in concentration and then smiles, “I see it!”

The girl looks pleased. They stand, watching the blackbird for another few precious moments before the girl sits back down on the wall.

“I’ve got to go now, okay? But I’ll see you tomorrow: same place, same time.”

“Sure,” the boy replies, but the girl is already off the wall and running into the sunset, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I hope you enjoyed reading this!

Apple xx

Is Beauty Really in the Eye of the Beholder?

We often hear the phrase ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. It effectively means that beauty is what a person thinks is beauty; if you see something as beautiful, then it is.

But could you look into the mirror and honestly tell me that there was not one thing you would change about your appearance? Are you totally happy with who you are?

However much I do not like it, my own answer would be no. If I could then I would be skinnier, have a smaller nose, a thinner face – there are many things that I would change about myself if I got the chance.

Mirrored beauty

Why do we want to change these things, though? Why do we want to be ‘prettier’, ‘skinnier’ or ‘have a smaller nose’?    Why do we actually want these things?

To answer these questions, we need to think some more about what beauty actually is. Does beauty exist if there is no one there to see it? Of course, this question is very much a matter if opinion, and is not really that different from if I asked you ‘If a tree falls in a forest with no one there, does it make a sound?’.

In my view, I think there is a definite possibility that beauty can exist if no one sees it, but if there’s no one there to see it – does it make a difference if it’s beautiful or not?

I could also apply this question to daily life, and say that someone or something is not beautiful unless it is seen by someone else to be so. This, sadly, seems to be truer than ever at the moment, or at least to me. If it weren’t, then the beauty industry would not be so successful. We wouldn’t slather ourselves in makeup everyday because ‘everyone else is doing it, so I wont look pretty without it’ [*]. Because beauty isn’t just in the eye of the beholder anymore, is it? It’s also what the beholder has been told is beautiful. If all of us were brought up to believe being skinny is ‘ugly’, then, generations later, we would probably still believe that. ‘Beautiful’ is only a word; it only means what we want it to mean, because a word is just a sound attached to a meaning. If we are constantly told we are beautiful, then we come to believe that we are. flower

Another question to ask yourself is: ‘Would you rather have a beautiful appearance or a beautiful soul?’ A beautiful personality and soul is also important, too, because this is not so much skin-deep, and we change our personalities according to the choices we make or have made.

[*] I’m not trying to say that everyone is like this, or that makeup is always a bad thing because isn’t always, and it can be a great way of expressing yourself.

So what we need to do in this day is to stand in front of a mirror, see our flaws both inside and out but then see these flaws as what makes us beautiful, and remember that perfection isn’t flawless either.

Apple xx