7 Pointless Ways to Procrastinate

7 pointless ways to procrastinate

Procrastinating is an art. Though social media is excellent, to be a true procrastinator you must also be able to perform your art in a variety of different ways – and if you have yet to embrace these during the joyful exam period, then here! Have a list that will effectively finish all productive revision!

(If you, like, me are actually in exam period right now then I’d probably advise not implementing any activities mentioned. Just saying.)

1. Play some oldey-timey games
Don’t tell me there wasn’t a fight for the one library computer in after school club. Seriously. That one with the green pipe and the bouncy ball one was my childhood (I’m very upset that I can no longer find it). If your memory is mysteriously blank then I’d suggest starting with Fireboy and Watergirl, Circle the Cat or Bloons Tower Defence. The sound of popping virtual balloons is strangely therapeutic.

2. Do some dumb calculations
‘How many books are in the library?’ ‘How many DVDs do I own?’ ‘How many teachers are teaching in my school at any one time?’ etc.

3. Find out dumb records
Again, the nostalgia from endless Guinness Book of World Records. What, you don’t have the newest edition? Never fear. The internet is your friend. My search history favourites include ‘longest piece of literature in the world’ (a Super Smash Bros fanfiction that clocks in at over 4 million words) ‘most married person’ (Linda Wolfe, with 23 marriages) and ‘farthest squirting of milk from the eye’ (279.5cm by Ilker Yilmaz).

4. Visit some pointless websites
My suggestions are Dot on the Horizon, Click to Remove, How Many Goats Are You Worth? and Please Wait.

5. Watch Pointless
You can say you’re watching ironically and because of my excellent pun, but we all know the truth. Pointless is the only game show worth any one’s time.

6. Find a playlist for every single action of the day
‘Saturday morning’, ‘Saturday breakfast’, ‘shower’, ‘getting ready’, ‘homework’, ‘making lunch’, ‘Saturday lunch’, ‘Oh look it’s started raining’, ‘Good job I don’t have to go out now’, ‘Let’s stay inside and watch Doctor Who instead’ ‘Wait, I have to publish this blog post first’ etc.

7. Learn how to say something in a language you’re not fluent in
This is probably the most productive items on this list. Quotes from your favourite books are especially fun – if you don’t want to buy a whole book and compare editions then you can get lots of sample chapters from Amazon.

I’m getting along well with my revision, as you can see. 😉 (No, seriously. I really am sorry for the lack of posts and such. It looks like this month is going to continue in this direction, unfortunately.)

Are any of you revising for exams at the moment? Is your studying going better than mine? 😛

7 British Words (That Aren’t ‘Bloody’)

British words that aren't bloody

(WordPress is really not liking me at the moment. I hope this posts. Otherwise, come over to my actual blog page and view everything from there.)

I am tired of ‘bloody’ and ‘mate’ being the only words used to identify a person with a British accent in books. I hate to tell you, but there are actually other accents in Britain and not all of us drink tea. As such, I have a compiled a* list of words used by a knowledgeable Londoner such as myself, which authors should endeavour to use in their writing.

*(not entirely serious)

1. Naff Ooh, I’m feeling quite urban here, aren’t I? Naff is a curious word which means the opposite of tasteful, but not the same as distasteful. Synonyms include gaudy, trashy, a large proportion of Camden market.

2. Term I know I’ve said this before, but THE AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEM IS VERY CONFUSING. (And maybe other places too. I haven’t read enough books to make judgements, really.) In this wonderful country, we have three terms instead of, like, two semesters, or whatever they have across they have across the Atlantic. I’m not really sure.

3. Converse It took me several re-reads and a film to discover that when Hazel Grace wears Chuck Taylors, she means converse. I just call all of those shoes converse, even if they’re actually £4.99 fakes from Primark.

4. Nick Something that will happen to your Liberty bag if you leave it on the bus, i.e. get stolen.

5. Train Do they even have much public transport in America? Characters seem to drive or fly everywhere. I know the USA is crazy big, but I managed to take an 8 hour train from London to Aberdeen. (On which I left my pencil case and books, by the way. Never going on it again.) And, just to confuse everyone, you’ve got the Tube and the Underground and the Overground and the Eurostar and the DLR. Fun times.

6. Shops Yes, I am going shopping to the shopping centre to visit the bookshop. IT’S IN THE VERB.

7. Lessons Because school does not deserve to be classy.

Oh, and one more: “Isn’t it just chucking it down?”

Dear authors, I hope you have taken note and will do your best to include these in your next novel, undoubtedly set on this glorious island of ours. Old chaps, thank you for reading, and cheerio; for those fellow Britons of mine, are there any I have missed out?

7 Worthwile Singles of the Week

7 singles of the week title

iTunes Single of the Week had been running since 2004 when it quietly finished at the end of last year. To be honest, I really don’t know why they did it, considering it provided both exposure to artists and free music to listeners, but hey. To celebrate/mourn its passing, here’s a list of my favourites from the ones I’ve downloaded. (Unfortunately, my toddler self was not up to checking iTunes every week. Sorry! 😛 ) sinners

Sinners Lauren Aquilina

I’d admittedly already bought the Sinners EP by the time this was made free, but whatever. The awesomeness of Lauren Aquilina transcends all boundaries. Plus, in a shameless advertisement for my ship, this is totally the Chaolena theme from early Crown of Midnight. roots

Roots Orla Gartland

Orla Gartland is a sort of more pop-y, guitar-tinged Lauren Aquilina. (Here! Let me take this opportunity to direct you to their wonderful collab cover of The Chain along with Dodie Smith.) Roots is a catchy song, and if you enjoy it then I recommend checking out her new Lonely People EP, which opens with the wonderful lyrics ‘We’re too young to know what love is/Our loss’. Orla also has the best music videos. fake you out

Fake You Out twenty one pilots

I didn’t really like this to begin with, but after some more listening it’s grown on me a lot. like the morning dew

Like the Morning Dew Laura Mvula

Laura Mvula’s voice is simply beautiful. Every time I listen to this song, it just reminds me of sunshine and summer and honey and everything warm. skinny love

Skinny Love Bon Iver

I cheated a little here, since I didn’t actually get the free version at the time, but I figured it would be stupid to leave it out because of that. THE LYRICS AND EVERYTHING just ugh buzzcut season

Buzzcut Season Lorde

The instrumental line feels a little wrong to me, but if I move past that I really like this song. I mean, I know Lorde doesn’t really need the exposure now, but that doesn’t change it. It feels like a song that would play whilst everything else is muted in a movie, you know? One of them. Another is Lauren Aquilina’s Forest Fires, by the way. bath is black

Bath is Black Marika Hackman

The catchy harp arpeggio thing combined with clever lyrics make for great listening. (I mean, LOOK AT THOSE GENIUS RHYMES.) Now, because it’s really hard to pick just seven, have a couple more. ramona laughter lines kodaline after the fall lies riptide tether home off to the races closer the throw

What are your thoughts on the now-no-more Single of the Week? Are there any I’ve missed?

Top Ten Things I Would Take to a Desert Island | Guest Post

Hello! This is An Overthinking Teenager, normally found residing over at Rainbow Cakes and Rocky Road. This is my first guest post, so thanks very much to Apple for having me. Today’s post is going to be a Top Ten – the Top Ten things I would take to a desert island (if I wasn’t trying to escape, so no boats!).

Hereeee we go…
1. My iPod. This would give me something else to focus on, keep me distracted from my unfortunate plight and probably help me keep my sanity intact. Always helpful.

2. A portable charger for the iPod. Preferably solar powered, but even if it wasn’t it would keep my iPod juiced up for a bit longer.

3. A fully stocked e-reader. Like the iPod, this would keep me distracted. I normally prefer physical books to e-books, but the big advantage of e-readers is the quantity of books you can take with you in one item. Les Miserables, I’m coming for you.

4 & 5.. Authentically tea-stained paper with an old-fashioned fountain pen. All the better for creating a complicated treasure map promising everlasting riches, leading to absolutely nothing. I’m cruel, aren’t I?

6. Pringles. I need to stay alive somehow, and what better way than with a stockpile of BBQ Pringles? Seriously, I’m in love with Pringles.

7. Sun cream. I have incredibly pale skin. In junior school, our PE kit was white shorts, socks, and polo shirt. My mum asked if I thought I could get away with wearing my navy games shorts, so I could look slightly less like a milk bottle. Therefore, suncream is a necessity if I’m going to avoid looking like a lobster. A ketchup-covered lobster, to be more precise. Swimming in tomato sauce.

8. Washi tape. This thin, patterned masking tape style tape is addictive. Seriously, you could spend hours covering everything in sight with it.

9. A notepad. Using the fountain pen from number 5, I could while away the hours writing Poet Laureate-worthy poetry and prose, only to be discovered after I’ve tragically died of starvation, causing me to showered with awards posthumously…

10. My stuffed giraffe. Giraffe, as he is inventively named (or Geronimo on special occasions) has been with me all fourteen years of my life, and I feel he could fit in quite well in a desert climate.

So there you have it, my top ten essentials for a desert island…what would be most important to you? Feel free to leave your comments below 🙂
Thanks again for having me, Apple!

This guest post was written by An Overthinking Teenager of Rainbow Cakes and Rocky Road. If you enjoyed reading then please go and check it out!