Are YOU the Chosen One?

ya fantasy post.jpg

Think that you might be the protagonist of a YA Fantasy? Find out here, and discover whether you actually need to save the entire world or not!*

You’ve always been a Normal Plain Jane. You’re totally average looking, which is to say that you could be a supermodel. Which is to say that you are a straight white female with dramatic red hair living in the USA — and you have an improbable name like Satchel. Or Canada. Or Sage. Because why not. You’re kind-of-but-not-really in love with your quirky guy best friend.

If you are not a Normal Plain Jane-slash-supermodel, then you are likely to be Harry Potter 2.0. (Because every fantasy novel ever must be compared to the first fantasy series ever. Obviously.) This time around you are a straight white male with green eyes and messy dark hair living in the USA. You might have a slightly less stupid name, but you can’t be sure.

Anyway. Whether you are Normal Plain Jane-slash-supermodel or Harry Potter 2.0, you have recently been thrust into a brand new world at the tender age of 16. Whilst looking through your recently deceased grandmother’s attic (you just inherited her grand old house) you found a mysterious magical item that suddenly caused strange things to happen around you. Well, strange things have always happened around you, but you’ve only started realising it now because you’re super smart.

The strange happenings build up. Something dramatic happens that tips the scales. You can’t lie to the people in your tiny boring town anymore. You run out of your kitchen with tears streaking down your face. But just when you think everything is beyond fixing, a mysterious, beautiful, brooding boy with green eyes turns up to help you. (Only you’re Normal Plain Jane-slash-supermodel. Harry Potter 2.0 does things all alone and kisses the pretty girl at the end. There are no options except outdated gender roles and m/f couples.) He saves you but is also very rude to you. He told you that you should mind your own business and he doesn’t know you can see all the magical creatures. You’re confused and distressed — you insist that you’re just normal. Despite his rudeness, you find him mysterious and intriguing. You think that he probably has a tortured backstory that causes him to be this way.

You feel guilty about your guy best friend who you’re kind-of-but-not-really in love with. Whoops. But Brooding Boy is just awfully intriguing. You think that you might be the only girl to get behind his snippy façade.

Anyway. Somehow along the way here you manage to pick up a wizened mentor. This old bearded dude tells you that you’re actually the prophesied chosen one. You’re not any normal kind of magical being — no, you are a Special Combination that allows you to save the whole magical world from the Raving Evil Villain. The wizened mentor possibly gives you a bit more advice, but as soon as it’s convenient he dies.

Who even knows where your parents are at this point. Oh no, I remember: you’re an orphan! You’ve been living with foster parents all your life. Except they’re not around either… huh. Weird. Oh well, you have bigger fish to fry right now.

Like that dramatic prophecy. You have no idea how it could be true. You’re just a normal teenager! How on earth will you save the whole magical world? Ah, now you remember: the wizened mentor instructed you to find the a special magical object that will be integral in your defeat of the Raving Evil Villain. (He’s really evil, is this one. Wants to take over the entire world. What an original plan.)

You embark on a long and dangerous journey. Although this probably takes up a decent chunk towards the end of the book , it’s mostly walking and sexual tension with the Brooding Boy. The boring/mysterious forest just outside your boring/mysterious town is a lot further away than you had thought. But let’s just gloss over that because it’s not particularly interesting. (Though it would have been a lot easier if Wizened Mentor hadn’t conveniently died, to be honest.)

Yes. Once you find said special magical object, the Raving Evil Villain appears. Your heartbeat gets so loud that you are sure he can hear you from your hiding place. But it doesn’t matter, because you selflessly decide to reveal yourself and save everyone else. There is a dramatic showdown.  Potentially you are injured, but odds are that you live. (There are still another 2 books in this series for you to star in, after all.) The Raving Evil Villain explodes in a poof of darkness and evilness. Exhausted, you fall into the arms of Brooding Boy. Just as he professes his love to you, everything fades to black.

When you reawaken, you are preparing to leave. You have been unconscious for several hours but experience no serious health effects, which is dubious considering most people only faint for a few seconds. Anyway. Then you return home in a way quicker time than it took you to arrive. Everyone hails you as a hero, except for a few token pessimists who think you’re a fraud. You have been changed forever. You’re still struggling to deal with your whole situation. But whatever’s wrong inside you can be instantly fixed by the love of the Brooding Boy. Somewhere in all of this your best friend found his soulmate and he is happily dating her. The book ends on a final bittersweet domestic scene as you are recovering with Brooding Boy. Turns out he does have a heart of gold after all.

are you the protagonist of a YA fantasy? (if so, WHAT ARE YOU DOING STILL HERE?! you should be saving us all!)

*Not entirely serious. I am, in fact, a big fan of YA fantasy. 😛 If you enjoyed this, you may also want to check out its YA Dystopia counterpart! And just as a reminder: this is a scheduled posts, and I am currently away with no wifi.  But I would love to meet any potential Chosen Ones when I return on 4th August!

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17 thoughts on “Are YOU the Chosen One?

  1. I AM ALTERNATING BETWEEN INTERNALLY SCREAMING AND CRYING LAUGHTER. This is such a witty and sarcastic piece, you have outdone yourself! It’s so sad that it’s all true though…like, can we please get a tiny bit more originality in the YA book realm? Please?

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  3. Ohmygosh, Eve! This is utterly BRILLIANT. I devoured it, and enjoyed every second. It is scary how many YA paranormal/fantasy novels follow the same story arc and contain the same tropes. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone completely turned the, on its head? I VOTE YOU DOING IT. Because it would be funny. I don’t think I’ve read a lot of YA paranormal/fantasies that have the funnies.

    Amazing post, lovely 😀

    • Aah thank you so much, I’m very glad you enjoyed it! ❤ Although I do love YA, it does frustrate me that many books do follow the same formula (and people keep reading them). I would definitely love to read that, so perhaps I should think about writing something like that! The Rest of Us Just Live Here sort of did a trope takedown, but that’s the only book I can really think of right now.

      Thanks once again for dropping by! 🙂

  4. EVE I LOVE THESE. THEY’RE SO HILARIOUS. JUST THE SASS. SO MUCH SASS. I LOVE IT. Also I’m not the protagonist of a YA fantasy. On one hand that’s sad because MAGIC! ADVENTURE! But having to save the world sounds troublesome so I’m good 😛

    • THANK YOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND. I just store up my sass for these small moments of extreme sass. This is why I never come up with clever responses on the spot. 😛
      I am glad to hear it! Well, I mean, it would probably be pretty fun, but also I do not at all want you to accidentally die saving the world. *nods*

  5. Hey! How come the Evil Villain has to explode? Can’t I just like… fade into the darkness to rise again or perhaps move to another magical land and fight another ya protagonist? This seems really unfair to villains! I mean, come on! I’m just misunderstood! You don’t know what happened in my past. You don’t know why I am the way I am. Actually… no one does, not even me because the author writing me never gave me any actual motives or depth or realism. *sigh* Being a villain is such a sad life… *goes to wallow in the corner and plot another easily foilable plan*

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